Getting Past Gambling

A place to come and share experiences, to find support and strength, for those of us who are putting gambling behind us and finding new exciting and happier ways to live our lives.
" You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing."
*Dale Carnegie {1888-1955 American Author & Achievement Expert}

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I am your friend.................

I am your friend, the only true companion you have.
I am with you when you are lonely;
I am with you when you are sad.
I am with you when you feel withdrawn and when the world is cruel.
I hide the heckler's words and block the missiles thrown in ignorance and anger.
I shelter you from the storms and I shield you from your fears.
I am your friend. I walk with you daily and live in your thoughts.
I feed off your failures, I revel in your guilt.
I thrive on your shame and dance with your deceit.
I keep you in darkness and take pleasure in your pain.
I delight in your loneliness and wallow in your sins.
I laugh when you flounder and strike when you stumble.
I am your friend.
I relish in your anger and worship in your pride.
I feed off your compulsion and dwell in your isolation.
I am familiar with your weaknesses and abuse your denial.
I treasure your resentment and take comfort in your depression.
I am your friend
My name is "Your Disease."

I am your friend. I hold out my hand and bring you faith.
I award you serenity and self-esteem.
I bestow upon you peace and acceptance.
I wrap you in love and tender the shield of knowledge.
I volunteer humility and shower you with confidence.
I bequeath spiritual growth, emotional advancement and physical revival.
I am your friend; I will lead you out of the darkness into the light.
I will carry you when you are weak and escort you through honesty.
I will provide tools for the battles and binding for your wounds.
I am your friend. I will teach you abstinence and release you from burden.
I will initiate forgiveness and I will foster willingness.
I will nurture ambition and claim back your life.
I am your friend.
My name is "Recovery."

Borrowed from:
The Sober Recovery Community

I Am Your Disease

You know who I am, You called me your friend
Wishes of misery and heartache I send
I want only to see that your brought to your knees
I'm the devil inside you; I am your disease

I'll invade all your thoughts, I'll take hostage of your soul
I'll become your new master, I'm in total control
I'll maim your emotions, I'll run the whole game
Till your entire existence is crippled with shame
When you call me I come, sometimes in disguise
Quite often I'll take you, by total surprise
But take you I will, and just as you feared
I'll want only to hurt you, with no mercy spared
If you have your own family, I'll see it destroyed
I'll steal every pleasure in live you've enjoyed
I'll not only hurt you, I'll kill if I please
I'm your worst living nightmare; I am your disease

I bring self destruction, but still you can't tell
I'll sweep your through heaven, then drop you in hell
I'll chase you forever, wherever you go
And then when I catch you, you wont even know
I'll sometimes lay silent, just waiting to strike
What's yours becomes mine, because I take what I like
I'll take all you won and I won't care who sees
I'm your constant companion; I am your disease

If you have any honor, I'll strip it away
You'll lose all your hope and forget how to pray
I'll leave you in darkness, while blindly you stare
I'll reduce you to nothing, and won't even care

So don't take for granted my powers sublime
I'll bend and I'll break you time after time
I'll crumble your world with the greatest of ease
I'm that madman inside you; I am your disease

But today I'm real angry. You want to know why?
I let this whole room of addicts slip by
How did I lose you? Where did we go wrong?
One minute I had you, the next you were gone
You just can't dismiss all the good times we shared
When you were alone wasn't it I who appeared?
When you sold those possession you knew you would need
Wasn't I the first one who stepped in and agreed?
Now look at you bastards, you're all thinking clear
You escaped with your lives when you found your way here
Only fools think they're winners when admitting defeat
It's what you must say when claiming that seat
So go ahead and surrender, if that's what you choose
But I'm not giving up, because I can't stand to loose
So stand in your circles and pray hand in hand
For God to come save you leaving me to be damned
Well be damned higher powers however unique
Be damned all your sayings, be damned your cliches
Be damned every addict who back to me strays
For I know it will happen, I've seen it before
Those who love misery will crawl back for more
So take comfort in knowing I'm waiting right here
But this time around you just better beware
You think that you're stronger or smarter this time
There isn't a mountain or hill you can't climb
Well if that's what your thinking, you ain't learned a thing
I'll still knock you silly if you step back into my ring
But you say you've surrendered, so what can I do?
It's sad in a way. I had big plans for you
Creating your nightmare for me was a dream
I'm sure gonna miss you, we made quite a team
So please don't forget me, I won't forget you
I'll stand by your side watching all that you do
I'll always be faithful so call if you please
I wont let you forget me, because I AM your DISEASE.

Written by "David" in 1998.

April 25 Reflection of the Day

I have much more to be grateful for than I realize. Too often, I don't remember to give thought to all the things in my life that I could enjoy and appreciate. Perhaps I don't take time for this important meditation because I'm too preoccupied with my own so-called woes, I allow my mind to overflow with grievances, the more I think about them, the more monumental they seem. Instead of surrendering to God and God's goodness, I let myself be controlled by the negative thinking into which my thoughts are apt to stray unless I guide them firmly into brighter paths.

Do I try to cultivate an attitude of gratitude?

Today I Pray
May God lead me away from my pile-up of negative thoughts, which make for detours in my path of personal growth. May I break the old poor-me habits of remembering the worst and expecting the most dire. May I turn my thoughts ahead to a whole new world out there. May I allow myself to envision the glory of God.

Today I will Remember
Keep an attitude of gratitude.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

24/7 Online Help/Support/Counselling available-Australia

Sometimes thinking about a gambling issue is hard. Making a decision on what to do next can be as difficult as knowing when to walk away. Our counsellors know about gambling.

'Talk' to someone online now about your decision to change, or even if you are just thinking about your options.

If you want more time to think about your question, you can use the email service. Even if you want to do it by yourself, we can provide support, someone to run ideas past or strategies for sticking to your goals.

Sunday, February 07, 2010


A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes
you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh,what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive,how and where you should live, and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard
the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power
and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love.... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your
terms... just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...

You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK.... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time... FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get
what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your
window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God (whatever you believe him/her to be) by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

20 Life Improving Principles

1. Don’t be a sheep. Baaah. Oh yes, the enormity of conformity; it permeates every corner of our society. Sometimes in our desperation to fit in, to belong and to avoid rocking the boat, we lose us. If you’re part of a group (organisation, company, church, team, gang, club) that discourages independent thought, freedom of expression or a contrary opinion, start running and don’t look back. Think for yourself. Learn your own truth. Be your own person.

2. Make the hard decisions. Some of us have spent years perfecting the skill (yep, it’s a skill) of not making the decisions we should. You know what I mean. And by the way, by not making a decision, you are making a decision. :)

3. Be a treasure hunter; consciously find (and appreciate) the good in your world. If you’re determined to find (and focus on) the negative, you will. And many people do. For me, the misery mindset has never been a particularly attractive option.

4. Choose your attitude every morning. It’s kind of liberating and empowering to know that a good or bad day is completely in our control and that while the happenings in our world might influence us, they don’t need to determine us.

5. Be proactive, not reactive. A person who spends their life being reactive not proactive is always playing catch up, is rarely happy or fulfilled and will never maximise their potential. Wouldn’t you prefer to be the Captain of your ship rather than the deck hand?

6. Seek to be wealthy, not rich. The kind of wealth I’m talking about here is all encompassing and may or may not have anything to do with money. That depends on you. People who are emotionally, socially, mentally, physically and spiritually wealthy have a distinct advantage over their counterparts whose entire life focus has been about building a bank balance and accumulating assets. And yes, it’s possible to be wealthy and rich; they need not be mutually exclusive.

7. Don’t hang out with toxic people. Spend enough time with toxic people and pretty soon you’ll be one. Their crappy attitude, pessimism, self-pity, negative language and their ability to ‘find the bad’ is contagious. If swine flue is your only alternative, take it; it’s less harmful.

8. Don’t let your past become your future. Unless you want it to, of course. If you want to create different results, do different things. If you want to step out of your own version of Groundhog Day, then stop hoping things will work out and start doing what you need to. It really ain’t that complex.

9. Strive for improvement not perfection. Perfection is a myth and a very destructive pursuit. It doesn’t exist – not in human form anyway – yet strangely, we are obsessed with it.

10. Don’t become your parents. By all means love them, appreciate them, respect them and learn from them but please don’t be them. It’s kinda creepy. And sad.

11. Under-promise and over-deliver. A great principle for business and for life in general; unlike many people who talk the talk and then deliver donuts. Zippo. Nada.

12. Don’t eat what you don’t need. Crazy concept I know. Imagine if we actually gave our body what it needed rather than giving it what our mind wants. What obesity epidemic?

13. Don’t rely on Motivation. Like all emotional states, motivation is temporary. It comes and goes. Kind of like flatulence. The person who only does what he should be doing when he is ‘motivated’ will never succeed over the long term because when the (feeling of) motivation subsides (and it always does) so too will the (change) behaviours. This is the time when our ‘non-negotiable’ behaviours should come into play – the ones that keep us doing what we need to, even when we don’t feel like it.

14. Do what scares you. Control your fear or it will control you. Within reason of course. I’m not suggesting that you run in front of a truck any time soon, but I am suggesting that you stop always choosing the easy, comfortable, convenient and safe (but ultimately unfulfilling and unrewarding) path. What scares us teaches us.

15. Stop looking for approval and permission. You’re big now; you don’t need it. :)

16. Don’t give away your personal power. You’ve done that for long enough.

17. Deal with problems quickly. Minor challenges become monumental problems (in our mind) if we wait long enough.

18. Learn to control your internal environment. Being as we do most of our ‘living’ in our head, it’s in our interest to make it a nice place to inhabit.

19. Ask the right questions. You know those questions; the ones that put you in a productive, positive, creative and solution-focused head space.

20. Be adaptable. Easier said than done but definitely something we need to develop. Living in a dynamic world along side unpredictable people in an ever-changing environment and situation means that adaptability is a prerequisite for the would-be success story.

So which of the above principles resonate for you? Feel free to add your own number 21…. 22, 23…