Getting Past Gambling

A place to come and share experiences, to find support and strength, for those of us who are putting gambling behind us and finding new exciting and happier ways to live our lives.
" You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing."
*Dale Carnegie {1888-1955 American Author & Achievement Expert}


Sunday, July 31, 2005

DUTY OF CARE - PUBLIC MEETING ANNOUNCEMENT

Wednesday night the 3rd August

Time: 7.30pm
Mornington Information Centre,
320 Main Street
Mornington.

Hon. Robin Cooper MLA is speaking.

He wants poker machines to be banned but wants to hear what the community says about it all too.

For more information:

Contact Libby Mitchell
(03 9770 0989 / 0410 815 115)

or visit:
www.dutyofcare.org.au

Friday, July 29, 2005

STOP LIVING IN THE PAST



Many compulsive gamblers struggle in the early days of their recovery, through looking back to their past life, burdening themselves with guilt, remorse, money they have lost, opportunities they have missed, or lack of progress at work. Our experience has shown that if we are to recover, these things must be left in the past and we must move on.

Guilt and remorse can cripple us. They are very close to self-pity. We must strive to replace them with the acceptance of responsibility, and make amends where we can.

Money lost - We must accept that this money is gone. We have already spent considerable time and money trying to get it back, with no success. All we have achieved is more misery and more pain.

Opportunities missed - If we come to accept a safe, and more prudent way of life, we will have more opportunities, and if we are free from gambling and living a useful life, we will be able to take advantage of them when they occur. The old ones are gone, look forward to the new ones.

Lack of progress at work - What can be done in that field depends a lot on the age and abilities of the member. However, irrespective of age or ability, any member can become a better worker. Probably for the first time in years, we are able to concentrate on what our job requires us to do. We can channel the energy we needed for gambling into our daily tasks, then leave the rest to our own higher power.


To sum up, our experience has shown us that if we care to embark on a new life, free from gambling and all the problems and misery that gambling generates, the we must close the book on the life we are leaving behind.


http://coloradoga.org/toward90.htm#sto

GURU...Messages That Guide

Imagine Your Ideal Future"

"Your imagination is your preview to life's coming attractions."
-- Albert Einstein
If you were to create an ideal future for yourself, what would it be like?

All things that now exist in form were once simply ideas in consciousness. We each hold the power to manifest different circumstances for our lives.

If we wish to manifest a new reality for ourselves, we need to consistently focus our imagination on the ideals we seek to realize.

Remember to explore your ideal in terms of qualities, not people or things. What qualities do you most want in life? Freedom? Respect? Playfulness? Abundance?

Whatever qualities you seek, imagine experiencing them now and be open to new ways to discover those qualities appearing in your life.

"Change is created by those whose imaginations are bigger than their circumstances"
-- Unknown source

Monday, July 25, 2005

Compulsive Gambler's Guilt Affects Their Gambling Addiction Recovery

By Howard Keith

When a compulsive gambler is in recovery, feeling guilty is one of the toughest areas to resolve for some people. When a gambler finally makes the conscious decision to stop gambling, reality sets in for the first time in a long time. When they take finally take stock in themselves they see all the damage they caused. Some people stop right before it’s too late and they have a few assets left. Then the compulsive gambler thinks they’re in control and once again go back to gambling. The next time the destruction is twice as worse. The feelings of guilt increase until they finally are willing to face they have a gambling problem.

Through various discussions with compulsive gamblers, I found a majority felt guilty and ashamed about the following:

* Feeling guilty you lied to your family and friends
* Feeling ashamed that your family and friends know you have a problem gambling
* Feeling guilty that friends and family may never trust you again
* Feeling guilty and ashamed knowing how much money you lost that could have been better spent.
* Feeling guilty you didn’t spend enough time with your children.
* Feeling guilty about your self destructive behavior
* Feeling guilty you didn’t go to relatives and friends events (birthdays, graduations etc.)
In time people will forgive the compulsive gambler, but can the compulsive gambler forgive them selves?


Friends and family will come around if the compulsive gambler keeps their word from now on.
Once the gambler tells you they stop gambling, they must stick to it. If not they will lose credibility. Trust is very important both for the compulsive gambler and for the family and friends. People have to learn to trust compulsive gamblers all over again. In time they will if the compulsive gambler is willing to stop gambling.

Even though a compulsive gambler made numerous mistakes, they can recover and they can move forward. It’s human nature to learn from your mistakes. No one is going to give the compulsive gambler the death penalty for gambling. A lot of gamblers feel this way when their world comes crumbling down.
Take the time to improve your quality of life and the compulsive gambler’s feelings of guilt will diminish over time.


Mr. Howard Keith has an extensive background in dealing with compulsive gamblers, relatives and friends of gamblers and teenage gamblers. Mr. Keith believes there are many alternatives to aid in the recovery of a gambling addiction verses a twelve step program. A large percentage of his emails were from compulsive gamblers looking for an alternative to Gamblers Anonymous and twelve step programs. Gamblers Anonymous also helps a significant number of people each year but there is a large percentage that they are unable to reach.

For more information on gambling addiction and stop gambling you can check out: I Stopped Gambling So Can You http://www.istoppedgambling.com/

Teenage Gambling Addiction website: http://www.teenage-gambling-addiction.org/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

THE DAILY GURU...Messages That Guide You Daily

"Sing Your Own Song"
"Since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable."
-- Brenda Ueland

Great forces are directing you to conform to the patterns of your society. You have DNA that has been handed down from generation to generation, coding repeated behaviour patterns into your being. You have archetypal energies setting the standards for how you behave as a man or a woman, as husband or wife, as father or mother

.... You are immersed in consensual reality, whereby the world around you reflects societal understanding of how life has been and is to be. At the same time, you have an even greater force within you inspiring you to wake up and recognize the reality of who you are. This force, the creative power underlying the entire universe, is urging you to create brand new standards of reality. The status quo is blind to our creative power. Create a brand new world for yourself, one that meets your deepest needs, and you will help raise the quality of consciousness of the entire world.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -- Gandhi

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Towards 90 Days

Be on our guard and try to be aware of any backsliding into old habits, any signs of complacency, any thoughts that may come into our heads that "gambling wasn't all that bad", that "maybe we are cured" or "maybe we were not compulsive at all - just unlucky".

These thoughts are all symptoms of our illness and can lead us back to the miseries we have tried so hard to put behind us.
These thoughts are not dangerous only to new members, they are just as deadly to any member, no matter how long they have been gambling-free.

Remember, the distance to our last bet may get longer and longer, but the distance to our next bet always remains the same - we are one bet away from disaster.

If we don't make the first bet, we won't make the second.
So, in the morning, if we say, "I will not place a bet today" and make it a good day, there is every chance we will be able to say it again tomorrow.


http://coloradoga.org/toward90.htm#sta


THE DAILY GURU...Messages That Guide You Daily

You Are Worthy!"
"A person's worth is contingent upon who he is, not upon what he does, or how much he has. The worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in being, not in doing, not in having."
-- Alice Mary Hilton

As a human being, as spirit manifested in form, you are innately worthy. Your worthiness does not have to be strengthened or improved. However, you may not PERCEIVE yourself to be worthy.If you doubt your self-worth, consciously or unconsciously, you will limit the good things you will allow into your life.
Do you consider yourself worthy? It may help to answer these questions:
- Do you find it easier to give than to receive?
- Do you have as much money as you would like?- Do you feel driven to improve yourself?
- Do you value other people's time more highly than your own?
- How would you feel if someone offered to pay you a salary of $1 million/year?

If you find you lack self-worth, don't despair. Just being aware of your self-worth issues will help you let them go.

"Every achiever that I have ever met says,
'My life turned around when I began to believe in me.'
"-- Dr. Robert H. Schuller

"We cannot achieve more in life than what we believe in our heart of hearts we deserve to have."
-- James R. Ball

Friday, July 15, 2005

HOW DOES AN ELECTRONIC GAMING MACHINE WORK?

The modern gaming machine bears very little resemblance to the old “one armed bandits.”
They are electronic and generally referred to as electronic gaming machines or EGMs or video gaming machines or VGMs.


It has a video screen that displays the game. You play the game by pushing buttons or by “touching” the menu on the screen. Internally, there are very few mechanical moving parts. It is similar to the inside of your home computer albeit with a few additional components for cash handling. Each poker machine has a computer program. Poker machines are all programmed to act randomly every time you press the button.

First the poker machine takes the credits you have bet. It then randomly determines the outcome of that play.

The outcome is independent of previous plays.
If there is a win, you get paid credits.

If not, the poker machine waits for the button to be pressed again.

You canNEVER predict how each play will end. None of these factors make a difference:
- The last time the machine paid out.
- Anything you or anyone else does to the machine.
- How much you bet or how many lines you play.- How long you have been playing.
- Past & future plays
- The time of day.

In Queensland, electronic gaming machines are programmed to either return 85% or 92% of their takings to the gambler.

An 85% return means that for every dollar placed in a poker machine, 85 cents must be returned to the gambler.

This return is achieved over the life of the machine, usually 3-4 years, and you can't expect to receive 85 cents for every dollar you bet in a single gaming session.

"Think about gambling as a business where you buy milk for $1 and sell it for 85 cents or where you buy cars for $10 000 and sell them for $8,500. How long do you think a business like this could survive?" (Simon Milton 2001 "Stop Gambling: A self-help manual for giving up gambling". Pan Macmillan, Sydney).

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Compulsive Gamblers Struggle To Stop Gambling Even Though They Know They Have A Problem Gambling

Every compulsive gambler has uttered the words “Please help me stop gambling” at one point or anther in their life. They continue to struggle on a daily basis to stop their hidden addiction. Unfortunately it goes unnoticed by co-workers, friends and family until things have gotten way out of control. They become frantic individuals looking for away out but no one hears their cries for help. Those closest to them know something’s wrong but don’t know what it is or what to do. The struggle continues until the compulsive gambler’s admits that they have a problem gambling. Even then it still is a struggle for the gambler to refrain from gambling.
The compulsive gambler's bills begin to pile up and they realize everyone is going to discover that they lost everything on a game of chance. The compulsive gambler looks back over the past few years and realizes what they had done to their life. They knew a year ago there was a problem gambling and they could have stopped, but they could not. They ask themselves “why is this happening to me?" And "What did I do to deserve this?” They never deliberately meant to hurt anyone. Their struggle to keep it in control became more and more difficult with each passing day. They sometimes begin to panic and see that there is no way out. They exhibit signs of hostility and emotional outbursts. Then the smallest amount of good news brings back their optimism. Their mind begins to wander and before you know it they are gambling again. Only to repeat the negative self destructive pattern over and over again. This is a terrible way for the gambler to live and their struggle to stop gambling continues.
Compulsive gamblers refuse to tell anyone how they are feeling inside which cause the self destructive behavior to continue. They don’t want anyone to know especially their family. However there are brief moments where they let their walls down and admit to a close friend that they are in trouble. The friend listens intently but has no immediate solution. The next time they see one another, nothing is mentioned and the friend assumes you have it under control. In reality you do not. You go back into your fantasy world and continue to gamble.
If a friend or family member realizes the struggle you are going through it’s time for them and you to take the initiative and confront the situation. There are self help stop gambling manuals, stop gambling websites and or Gamblers Anonymous. Starting to educate you on compulsive gambling addiction will help in the recovery.
A compulsive gambler needs their family and friends to help them with their struggle to stop gambling. This may be difficult for all involved since the gambler may have borrowed money in good faith and has no means to pay it back. This alone causes a compulsive gambler’s self esteem to decrease. This is also another reason there is a high rate of suicide among pathological gamblers.
Looking at the world out of a compulsive gamblers perspective is unique since there is limited statistical information on this addiction. A compulsive gambler once told me “I didn’t wake up one day and decide to lose everything I had worked the past twenty years for.” The same can be said for many other addictions. Everyone is unique and needs a recovery program tailored specifically to them.
A common mistake a compulsive gambler will make in their recovery is taking part in a recovery program they can not relate to. This slows down their recovery. The also may go back to gambling.
The gambler needs to start some where. With all the new alternative programs they eventually will find a program that will help them recover and rebuild their life.

Friday, July 08, 2005

FROM: Welcome to COPING - Children Of Problem/In-debt/Neglectful Gamblers

How Can You Recognize a Gambling Addict?

How can you recognize a compulsive gambler?
That's the frightening part. You can't, especially if you don't know the person well.
There aren't any chemicals going into their systems to eat away at their livers or kill their brain cells.
Casinos and races don't leave track marks in arms.

Gambling is the easiest addiction to hide.

That said, chances are if gambling is becoming a problem in your family, there will be a marked personality change in the addict. You may not notice it right away, but if you look back over a period of time, it will probably become apparent to you.
Consider what your parent was like a few years ago and the changes will probably be easier to see.

Depression will probably accompany the addiction. Addicts suffer from a great deal of guilt. They may take on very odd eating/sleeping patterns. They'll become secretive and keep to themselves. They will also lie.

This may be the hardest to accept, because we learn to trust our parents from the day we are born.

But remember that addicts don't lie to be mean or to hurt.

In fact, they don't continue with their addiction to hurt.

They simply can't help it and they will do anything to keep the addiction in their lives.

http://us.1.p.geocities.com/missy_lewis/geninfo/recgam.html

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

THE DAILY GURU...Messages That Guide You Daily

"Going For Guilt-Free Play"
"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do. The fun is in having lots to do and not doing it."
-- Mary Little

When you're tempted with a promise of pleasure, does guilt promptly spoil it for you?
For many of us, the work ethic still rules supreme. It keeps our life out of balance and our health at risk. There will always be lots of work to do. We can't wait for it to go away to enjoy ourselves.

Today, we invite you to become aware of your attitude towards rest, relaxation, pleasure and fun. When you give yourself a break, do you carry guilt through it? Deep down, do you believe that you don't deserve to have a good time, that you haven't earned a holiday? If you do discover these thoughts, send them packing.

"Guilt is the source of sorrows, the avenging fiend that follows us behind with whips and stings." -- Nicholas Rowe

Friday, July 01, 2005

THE DAILY GURU...Messages That Guide You Daily

Life Comes With Problems"

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
-- Fr. Alfred D'Souza

Life always brings problems.

We really can't live without them. And so it helps to shift our perspective. We can stop trying to avoid the problems. We can stop feeling victimized by what's happening. Instead, we can consciously work with the challenge of the moment to learn more about ourselves and the world. When we make this shift in attitude, we discover ourselves to be strong and powerful.

"Every lesson is a widening and deepening of consciousness. It is a stretching of the mind beyond its conceptual limits and a stretching of the heart beyond its emotional boundaries. It is a bringing of unconscious material into consciousness, a healing of past wounds, and a discovery of new faith and trust." -
- Paul Ferrini