The Top 10 Ways to Design Your Destiny

The Top 10 Ways to Design Your Destiny 1. Decide you can do it. You already are. Every decision you make every day makes YOU! Awaken to this and drive your destiny. 2. Energise your desires. And be energised by them. Your desires allied with your decisions make miracles happen. 3. Follow your intuition. Let your intuition surprise you, and lead you in some unexpected directions as you... 4. Take the lead in your life. You ARE the champion in your circle. Step up and claim your title. Your life influences people, whether you want it to or not. Be the winner that lights their lives. 5. Make action your passion. "Just do it." 6. Evaluate the invaluable -- Your Values. In knowing your values you know yourself. They are what drive you, what you drive, and how you handle the road of your life. 7. Inform your dedication. Just like your values, you choose 'em. What do you want to make happen in the world? Why do you want it? Give yourself the gift of clear focus - and taste the sweetness of dedication made evident. 8. Balance your beliefs... With your focus, values and goals. Every belief can serve you easily or challenge you to grow - give yourself a great mix and watch the party of your life unfold. 9. Enhance your heart, For designing your destiny is most effective with a big heart in mind. 10. Develop your devotion... To that which really matters to you. Designing your destiny is fun for its own sake for five minutes. What is your life really about? Submitted by Elizabeth Mullen, who can be reached at em@cornerstonecoaching.com, or visited on the web at http://www.cornerstonecoaching.com © 2001 CoachVille.

The Top 10 Great Life Skills to Have, to Use and Improve It takes a lot of skills to negotiate through life. Many of them we pick up along the way, others we need to develop, and some we just need to polish a little bit. Here are a few life skills to consider getting, using, or practicing in your life... 1. Listening 2. Giving compliments 3. Accepting compliments 4. Thinking positive 5. Saying "No" 6. Laughing 7. Planning 8. Asking questions 9. Reading 10. Exercising Submitted by Jim Allen, who can be reached at Jim@CoachJim.com, or visited on the web at http://www.CoachJim.com © 2001 CoachVille.

Top ten beliefs to help you create the work you were born to do. 1. You can find what you love and earn money from it. 2. You can change your attitude and your circumstances. 3. Your inspiration and love can lead to paid work or a great job. 4. You can be authentic and real, and be successful. 5. The purpose of work is to find and give expression to the best of you, and work can be easy and natural. 6. Life supports you when you find your heart, love and passion, and the intelligence inside you will handle many of the details. 7. You can bring more and more of yourself to your work. 8. You have more creativity and resources inside you than you ever imagined. 9. It is safe to be successful, be your best self and shine your light. 10. You are good enough, have lots of gifts, skills and talents and deserve success

How to simplify your Life In this very fast paced world, it seems impossible to simplify our lives. But think about this, how much time and energy do you waste on the unnecessary? How much time do you waste because you can't find things? How much energy do you waste telling yourself all the things you should do? How much time do you spend having fun? We often make life much more complicated than it needs to be and somehow we have convinced ourselves that our lives must be filled to max. We over schedule our lives, and then wonder why we feel dissatisfied. In turn, we end up spending the majority of our time on the things that don't matter to us. Here are some strategies to help you weed out the unnecessary and simplify, simplify, simplify. 1. Extend your boundaries. It is okay to say no. If you are not comfortable committing to a task, or something doesn't feel right to you, then don't do it. We often get in trouble because we ignore our gut feelings, and most of the time it leads us down the wrong path. 2. Drop your to-dos. Drop the to-dos that have been on your list for a couple of months. Get rid of those tasks that you keep telling yourself that you will get done but you always find something more interesting/important to do. If you have not done them by now, they are not important and draining your energy. 3. Remove clutter. How much time do you waste looking for things? Do you have stuff that you need to get rid of? The more cluttered your space is, the more stressed you are going to feel. When you remove clutter, get rid of stuff that you no longer need, and give objects a home, your life will run more smoothly. In addition, you will create a space for new things to enter your life. 4. Develop your values. Determine what your values are and live to those values. We often feel conflicted because how we are living is out of sync with our values. For example, if your number one value is family and your job requires you to work 65 hours a week is it any wonder that you feel unsettled and unhappy? When you're clear about what is important to you, it will be easier to let go of things that don't fit. 5. Examine your beliefs. What are your core beliefs? Some of your beliefs may be limiting your ability to let go of tasks and projects that don't add value. If you believe that you create value by being busy, it is much harder to let go of tasks. If you believe that the only way to make money is to work hard, then you will always work hard. Remember, we look for circumstances in our lives to reinforce what we believe. 6. Create priorities. Determine the 1 or 2 things you want to accomplish within the next year for your career/business, home life, relationships, and self. Work only to those priorities. If your goal is to develop a new income generating product line, that is where you should spend significant time focusing your attention. It is very easy to get distracted from our priorities, because there is so much information out there that inspires our interest. How often do you get diverted to other projects and never finish what you were originally working? What happens? The year goes by and you did not accomplish any of your objectives. When new ideas do excite us, get an idea notebook and write all of your new ideas down for future projects. One note, if you find yourself working on everything but your stated priorities, it may be time to reexamine what you think you want. 7. Give yourself permission to relax. We live in a culture that has taught us that relaxing is the equivalent to being lazy so we have created lives that are bursting at the seams and don't give us time to think. There is another way, give yourself permission to relax. Revel in doing nothing. Give yourself time to just think and do nothing. You will be amazed at all the new and interesting discoveries that come to you. 8. If you're struggling, let it go. If something is a real struggle, or you can't come up with a solution, drop it for awhile. Giving yourself a mental break will allow your brain to rest and therefore create new ideas. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and had an aha? This happens for two reasons, 1) because you are relaxed, and 2) because you were not trying to direct your brain's thoughts. Giving yourself a mental break from a challenge is a great way to consciously create that aha. 9. Take care of yourself. Isn't it funny that we take better care of our cars than our bodies? Take care of your body and mind. Eat things that bring you a sense of energy and lightness. Eat to fuel your body. Exercise your body to reduce stress and clear your mind. Exercise your brain with new activities. This will go a long way in helping you feel more calm and relaxed. 10. Have fun. Why is it so hard for us to have fun? Make time each week to do something that brings you joy. Do something completely silly. Have fun with yourself. Laugh. Forget all the other stuff for awhile and just have fun. You will feel a whole lot better. This piece was originally submitted by Jennifer Ottolino, Personal & Professional Coach, who can be reached at Jen@coachjen.com, or at www.coachjen.com © 2000-2002 by Thomas J. Leonard.

REFLECTION FOR THE DAY

"Fundamental progress has to do with the reinterpretation of basic ideas,"
wrote Alfred North Whitehead.
When we review or ups and downs of our recovery in GA, we can see the truth of that statement.
We make progress each time we get rid of an old idea, each time we uncover a character defect, each time we become ready to have that defect removed.
We make progress, one day at a time, as we shun that first bet, that first addictive act that could so quickly swerve us from the path of growth onto the path of despair...

Do I consider the progress I've made since I came to GA????

May I remember that there are a few new ideas in the world, only the old ones reinterpreted and reinstated.
May I always be conscious that the big things in life-- like love, brotherhood, God, abstinence from addictive behavior--become more finely defined in each human life.
So may the Twelve Steps in recovery be redefined in each of our lives, as we keep in mind that these are the time--tried principles that work.......

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
The Twelve Steps work.

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Who is This Person

If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough. VP Pappy

Who is This Person

It is not unusual for the spouse of a compulsive gambler to wake up one day with his or her whole world turned upside down. When the spouse or family becomes aware of the gambler's addiction, he may be so far in debt that the spouse cannot even comprehend the extent of the debt. It may take months for the spouse to unravel the web of debt. Often even the gambler does not know how much money he has lost or to whom he owes money. How a spouse does not realize the extent of the problem is a curiosity, however for most spouses, they are truly blind sided by the extent of the damage that the gambler has done.

Many spouses know that their spouse is a gambler, they just don't have any idea how bad it has gotten. Compulsive gamblers very quickly become master manipulators, liars and thieves. It is very common for the gambling addict to have been a responsible, thrifty, apparently well rounded individual...................until they start to gamble.

Unfortunately, you cannot tell a gambling addict when they are walking down the street. There is no smell to their breath, they don't have needle marks in their arms, they don't stumble or slur their words. Anyone, doctors, lawyers, teachers, ministers, housewives, great grandmothers, teenagers, accountants, fast food workers....anyone can be a compulsive gambler.

Gambling addiction is very much like other addictions in some ways, but it has it's own unique qualities. Gambling addiction is the only addiction that has the promise of a "jackpot." Heroin addicts do not delude themselves into thinking that if they shoot up one more time, all of their problems will be solved. The alcoholic doesn't loot his savings and 401K to buy alcohol. Sex addicts do not think that if they have just one more anonymous sexual encounter they can make up for all the damage they have done. The compulsive gambler continues to gamble thinking that the next turn of the card, roll of the dice or spin of the wheels will be the "big one." The win that will make it all all right, turn their luck around, allow them to pay back all of the money they have lost. Unfortunately, even if there is a big win, it doesn't matter. The compulsive gambler just keeps gambling, thinking if he won that much, he can win some more. One of the worst things that can happen to a pathological gambler is to win big. It just reinforces that idea that if he keeps at it, he will win more.

Once the gambler becomes a pathological gambler, he or she is no longer the same person and neither is their spouse. The person who always buys used cars because new cars lose value too quickly, suddenly doesn't think anything of blasting through $1,000 on the slots in an hour. The guy who maxed out his 401K contributions every year finds himself blowing on dice, screaming "come on seven" with his last dollar on the table. The person who has scrimped and saved for years to buy the R.V. to travel in during his golden years, suddenly finds it reasonable to bet it all on red at the roulette table. The person who has saved to put his child through college because he never had the chance to go, suddenly forgets how important that goal is and blows the whole wad on the ponies in a fun filled weekend.

It's almost as if they have compulsive gambler seminars at the casino, they all seem to learn very quickly how to hide their tracks. Gambling addicts take off work early to get home before the mail gets there so their spouse won't find the bills or they get a post office box or have their bills delivered at work trying to hide their handiwork. They know the name, age of children and birthplace of the person at the payday loan company. They don't answer their cell phones. They sneak away from work so their spouse won't know they have been to the casino. The list is endless of the ways that a gambling addict will find to gamble and to cover up what they are doing.

They will beg, borrow and steal to finance their gambling. They will drain the families' savings, 401 Ks, children's college funds, take the equity out of their homes, steal from their employers, charge their credit cards to the maximum, take out new credit cards, borrow from banks, finance companies, payday loan companies, borrow from friends, family and coworkers, they will take the money their kid earned mowing lawns in the summer, all in the delusion that sooner or later they will win enough to pay it all back.

The compulsive gambler will only stop gambling when they no longer have access to money.

They become liars. They cannot seem to find it in themselves to tell the truth. They will lie to their spouse, children, supervisors, the neighbors, but mostly they lie to themselves. They know they have a problem. They understand they have a problem, but they just keep doing it.

The light at the end is that gambling addiction can be treated, although there is debate over how effective treatment is. Gambler's Anonymous and other programs, counseling and time help the gambler with his problem. Gam Anon is helpful for the families. However, once gambling addiction has entered your life, it will never be the same.

For the spouse, the trust has been broken. Forever, in the back of your mind, you wonder when it will happen again. Is the gambler gambling, lying, stealing? You wonder, when is it going to start all over again, I didn't know it the last time, will I recognize it this time before it is too late? It is always in the back of your mind when you call and they don't answer their cell phone or when they are a few minutes late getting home. When the alcoholic falls of the wagon, there may be a lot of consequences, but if the gambler falls of the wagon he can take his family into bankruptcy over a weekend bender.

Some people wonder why the spouse just doesn't divorce their gambling mate and the answer to that is difficult. There is a plethora of reasons for not leaving, but the reality is that the only hope that many spouses have of getting out of debt is for the gambler to quit gambling and help pay off the bills. Most debt that is acquired by the gambler is seen as "marital debt" and even if the spouse divorces the gambler, they will still have to pay back the debt.

Gambling addiction has one of the highest suicide rates of all addictions and this is partially due to the nature of the consequences. With most addictions, the addict can lose everything he had, his family, his job, his self-respect, he can take himself down to having nothing left, zero, zip, nada. However. the gambling addict may have lost all of those things, but his aftermath doesn't stop merely at zero. The gambler may have lost his family, job, self-respect AND may be thousands, tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and the only way he knows of to get out of debt is........(insert drum roll) ....................to gamble and win the big one. When the alcoholic quits drinking, he picks up the pieces and moves on, but the gambler may be faced with overwhelming debt that he cannot see a way out of when he quits gambling.

Don't despair, many gambling addicts make it through, quit gambling and move on with their lives, but as with any other addiction it can be a life time struggle both for the gambler and the people who love them.

Copyright 2007

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