Getting Past Gambling

A place to come and share experiences, to find support and strength, for those of us who are putting gambling behind us and finding new exciting and happier ways to live our lives.
" You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing."
*Dale Carnegie {1888-1955 American Author & Achievement Expert}


Monday, May 26, 2008

DAILY GURU

Appreciation

"You can never get to peace and inner security without first acknowledging all of the good things in your life. If you're forever wanting and longing for more without first appreciating things the way they are, you'll stay in discord."

-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

Develop an attitude of gratitude. We discover a sense of wholeness as we appreciate both the small and big things in our lives. And it really helps to remember to appreciate ourselves. Appreciation is more than just acceptance -- it's respect and admiration. Let go of criticism and self-abuse.

"Generally, appreciation means some blend of thankfulness, admiration, approval, and gratitude. In the financial world, something that ‘appreciates’ grows in value. With the power tool of appreciation, you get the benefit of both perspectives: as you learn to be consistently thankful and approving, your life will grow in value."

-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

Sunday, May 25, 2008

DAILY REFLECTION

Getting over years of suspicion and other self - protective mechanisms can hardly be an overnight process. We've become thoroughly conditioned to feeling and acting misunderstood and unloved - whether we really were or not. Some of us may need time and pratice to break out of our shell and the seemingly comfortable familiarity of solitude. Even though we begin to believe and know we're no longer alone, we tend to sometimes feel and act in the old ways.
Am I taking it easy? Am I learning to wear the Gamblers Anonymous Program and life like a loose garment?
Today I Pray
May I expect no sudden, total reversal of all my old traits. My abstinence from gambling is just a beginning. May I realize that the symptons of my compulsion will wear off gradually. If I slip back, now and then, into my old self - pity bag or my grandiosity, may I not be discouraged, but grateful. At last, I can face myself honestly and not let my delusions get the best of me.
Today I Will Remember
Easy does it.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

DAILY GURU

Life as a mirror

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

-- C.G. Jung

We get clues about our unconscious programming if we watch our reactions, responses, feelings and thoughts about other people and events. Ask yourself: How do I judge or stereotype people? What pushes my buttons? What makes me angry or fearful or sad?

The outer incidents that trigger these reactions in me simply MIRROR my own nature. If I didn't have beliefs around the issues that upset me, where would my reactions come from? If I didn't have some internal reference, I wouldn't react at all.

When outer events spark a reaction, we need to look inside to explore what’s going on.

"We discover in ourselves what others hide from us and we recognize in others what we hide from ourselves."

-- Vauvenargues

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Quote of the Week

Fits into gambling relapse also:

"Relapse begins a long time before you pick up that first drink or drug."


I'm a three meeting minimum a week kind of guy. Anything below that and I begin feeling, well, kind of vulnerable. Oh, not that I'm going to pick up and use, but vulnerable to what my head tells me, and vulnerable to feeling more irritable, restless and discontented. I'm quicker to judge, and I begin storing resentments.

After a few weeks of that, it begins to get harder to make even two meetings a week. Soon I'm not answering my phone very much and calling my sponsor doesn't even occur to me. Work pressures mount, and on the way home you're not driving fast enough, and the parking lot is full, and Blockbuster doesn't have the movie I want. Suddenly the world is out of whack, and the idea of a drink seems not only natural, but completely reasonable as well.

I can't tell you the number of times I've heard people who relapse tell a story similar to the one above. It always scares the heck out of me because there have been times when I've begun to go down that same path. Thank God for my commitments, a strong support group, regular meetings I look forward to, and sponsees who continue to call me.

Today I have four meetings a week I go to - whether I need them or not - because I want to keep the distance between me a relapse as far apart as possible.

___________________________________


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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Question your intention

"Men are more accountable for their motives, than for anything else ...."

-- Archibald Alexander

Why are you doing what you are doing?

Throughout the day, continually ask yourself about your underlying motivation. Are you doing what you are doing for selfish, manipulative or fearful reasons, or in honest service? Maybe you will see that much of your activity lacks purpose. This is a great way to become more conscious.

Your intention and motives are fundamental to the results you receive. Set high intentions and your life will blossom.

"A good intention clothes itself with power."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, May 19, 2008

Reflection for the Day

I considered myself a "loner" in the days when I was gambling. Although I was often with other people--saw them, heard them, touched them--most of my important dialogues were with my inner self. I was certain that nobody else would ever understand. Considering my former opinion of myself, it's likely that I didn't want anybody to understand. I smiled through gritted teeth even as I was dying on the inside.

Have my insides begun to match my outside since I've been in the Gamblers Anonymous Program?

Today I Pray
May my physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual selves become one, a whole person again. I thank my Higher Power for showing me how to match my outside to my inside, to laugh when I feel like laughing, to cry when I feel sad, to recognize my own anger or fear or guilt. I pray for wholeness.

Today I Will Remember
I am becoming whole.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Daily Guru

MAKE CHANGE A POSITIVE PART OF YOUR LIFE

You must avoid breaking when things don't go your way.
You'll always be secure to the degree that you accept change.
True security comes from being able to bend your insecurities.

Recognize and accept that change will inevitably take place.
You'll become secure, not by standing still, but by growing,
moving, and staying energized.
Be secure in the knowledge that you can deal with anything
that happens to you.

Have the courage to bet on your ideas.
Take some calculated risks and act on your dreams.
There is no permanent security on this earth, there is only opportunity.

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Reflection for the Day

When a person wakes up each morning and rises, with nerves screaming and sick at heart, to face frightening reality; when a person stumbles through the day in a pit of despair, wishing to die, but refusing to die; when a person gets up the next day and does it all over again--well, that takes guts. That takes a kind of real, basic survival courage, a courage that can be put to good use if that person ever finds his or her way to Gamblers Anonymous. That person has learned courage the hard way, and when that person comes to the GA Program, he or she will find new and beautiful ways to use it.


Have I the courage to keep trying, one day at a time?

Today I Pray
May I put the "guts-to-survive" kind of courage left over from my gambling days into good use in the Program. If I was able to "hang on" enough to live through the miseries of my addiction, may I translate that same will to survive into my recovery program. May I use my courage in new, constructive ways.

Daily Guru

EVERY FAILURE IS A STEP CLOSER TO SUCCESS

People who try to do something and fail
are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.
Experiencing failure is inevitable on your journey to be successful.
Every defeat is merely an installment to victory.

You'll find that the number of times you succeed is in direct proportion
to the number of times you fail and keep trying.
You won't be judged by the number of times you fail,
but by the number of times you succeed.

Failure is nothing but education,
nothing but the first step to something better.

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©2006 by Max Steingart
Reproduce freely but maintain © notice
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Reflection for the Day

My courage must come each day, as does my desire to avoid a single bet, a single addictive act. It must be a continuing courage, without deviations and procrastination, without rashness, and without fear of obstacles. this would seem like a large order indeed, were it not for the fact that it is confined to this one day, and that within this day much power is given to me.
Do I extend the Serenity Prayer to my entire life?
Today I Pray
May each new morning offer me a supply of courage to last me during the day. If my courage is renewed each day and I know that I need just a day's worth, that courage will always be fresh and the supply will not run out. May I realize, as days pass, that what I feared during the earliest days of my recovery I no longer fear, that my daily courage is now helping me cope with bigger problems.
Today I Will Remember
..... give me courage - just for today.

Wisdom of the Rooms

"The program does for us slowly what (gambling) alcohol and drugs did for us quickly."

I can clearly remember what I felt like before recovery. I was anxious, on edge, so uncomfortable with my life that I wanted and needed to escape. I can also remember the immediate sense of ease and comfort that came from the first hit of my drugs or alcohol. Suddenly, everything was OK, and the future actually had some hope in it.

This was my solution for a long time, and when it stopped working, I was truly at a jumping off point. In the beginning of my recovery, meetings and fellowship offered me temporary relief from the near constant dread and anxiety I felt. The problem was how to get by in between meetings, and I'll tell you, it was rough going for quite a while.

And that's when I heard someone share that "we go to meetings for relief, but we work the steps for recovery." As I worked my program, I found this to be true. The relief and sense of ease and comfort I used to get through using now began to be part of my everyday experience. After a while, I actually had peace and serenity and most of the time felt comfortable in my own skin.

One day I realized that the program had done for me slowly what drugs and alcohol had done for me quickly.

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Reflection for the Day

My courage must come each day, as does my desire to avoid a single bet, a single addictive act. It must be a continuing courage, without deviations and procrastination, without rashness, and without fear of obstacles. this would seem like a large order indeed, were it not for the fact that it is confined to this one day, and that within this day much power is given to me.

Do I extend the Serenity Prayer to my entire life?
Today I Pray
May each new morning offer me a supply of courage to last me during the day. If my courage is renewed each day and I know that I need just a day's worth, that courage will always be fresh and the supply will not run out. May I realize, as days pass, that what I feared during the earliest days of my recovery I no longer fear, that my daily courage is now helping me cope with bigger problems.
Today I Will Remember
God give me courage - just for today.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Wisdom of the Rooms


"Things aren't necessarily going wrong just because they're not going my way."

This is still hard for me to accept. My ego tells me that my plans and ideas about how things should go, and how you should act, are 99% right, and that if everybody would just fall in line, then everything would be great and I'd be happy. But how many times has my self will twisted or bullied things into place and got me what I thought I wanted, when I'd eventually realize it wasn't what I wanted? Most of the time is the short answer.

There's an old gypsy curse that goes, "May you get everything you want." Once again, my ego hears that and says, "That doesn't sound like a curse!" but my experience understands the wisdom in it. And one of the gifts I've received in recovery is the willingness to pray for the knowledge of God's will (not mine) and the power to carry that out.

And that's when the miracle truly happens for me and countless others. You see, the wants and needs of my ego are limited and short sighted. But God's will is vast and includes infinite possibilities for happiness and fulfillment. By developing the faith to truly seek God's will, I've been able to let go of controlling others, to show up and look for ways to be of service, and to let go of expectations.

And doing this has enabled me to see that, "Things aren't necessarily going wrong just because they're not going my way."



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Wisdom of the Rooms


"Without tolerance for another, it's hard to have empathy for myself"

Tolerant was one of the last words you would have used to describe me before I entered the program. Instead, I was quick to judge you and could always find fault with what you said, or how you dressed, or what you did. My opinion of myself was so low that I constantly had to rip you down to build myself up. Living this way made me bitter, isolated and resentful.

As I listed my resentments in my fourth step, and more importantly my part, I began to see how much my fear and low self-esteem drove my decisions and actions, hurting both myself and others. But as I listened to others sharing honestly and openly about their struggles and fears, I began to feel a connection, and for the first time an empathy for others.

I once read a description of empathy as being an emotional echo that is sent out to the inner center of another person and that returns with pieces of yourself. And once I began finding pieces of myself in other people's stories, I began to look for the shared humanity in our experiences. And that's when I began to develop tolerance and compassion for others as well as for myself.

Today I understand that without tolerance for another, it's hard to have empathy for myself.


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Saturday, May 10, 2008

Reflection for the Day

Energy Follows Focus, So Whatever You Focus On, That Is What Will Happen !!!

"Perfect courage," wrote La Rochefocauld, "means doing unwitnessed what we would be capable of with the world looking on."

As we grow in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, we recognize persistent fear for what it is, and we become able to handle it. We begin to see each adversity as a God-given opportunity to develop the kind of courage that is born of humility, rather than of bravado.

Do I realize that whistling to keep up my courage is merely good pratice for whistling?

Today I Pray
May I find courage in my Higher Power. Since all things are possible through God, I must be able to overcome the insidious fears that haunt me - so often fears of losing someone or something that has become important in my life.

I pray for my own willingness to let go of those fears.

Today I Will Remember
Praying is more than whistling in the dark.

TODAY IS THE TIME FOR ACTION

You must be ready when opportunity comes before you.
Luck is the time when your preparation and opportunity meet.
There is a tide in your affairs, which, when taken at the flood, will lead you on to fortune and success.

By the law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again and again, not capriciously, but at regular periods,
and each thing in it's own period, and each obeying its own law.

As events tend to repeat themselves, the tide of opportunity will come to you.
Be prepared and your chance for success is sure to come.
Look around you. Seize an opportunity to change your life.

You can change chance into good fortune if you are ready.
The only sure thing about your luck is that it will change.


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©2006 by Max Steingart
Reproduce freely but maintain © notice
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